No Words
by yuzu369
Summary: Haruichi falling in love for the first time. Mostly his thoughts but there is one mild scene of sex too, hence the rating.


**Yo! Again, I tried my best to translate my own fanfic. I'm so sorry, I know my English just isn't there yet! Even though I thought there aren't many ficks about the pairing so I wanted to write my own. I was also encouraged by people commenting on my previous, unfinished fic from snk *I know I didn't finish, got it in Polish but I so don't want to translate*.**

**I fell in love with this series, there are lots of pairings I love and lots of charaters I admire! I would love to write another one with this pairing but there are also Furuya x Miyuki, Kuramochi x Ryousuke and Tetsu-san x Jun that I like ._. So much to choose from. Anyway, enjoy~ and please, don't scold me too much for my English *scared*.**

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><p>I knew the meaning of loneliness very well. I didn't show it because my brother was always by my side but the older I got, the more I understood that it just wasn't enough for me. Hence I could comprehend easily what Furuya felt standing alone when the team was busy bullying Eijun. I saw it in his eyes, the same sparkle I used to have. I really doubted that anyone else had ever seen it.<p>

One windy day we were sitting carelessly at the river bank - just the two of us, resting after a hard training. He asked me why I had been doing this - why had I not left him yet, even though all the others weren't so eager to spend time with him. Wind was moving the long uncut blades of grass. The air smelled like summer and heated water. I did not know what to reply, so we both remained silent. The clouds were lazily floating across the sky. He was closing his eyes trying to fight the drowsiness. And that was the first time he said his true thoughts out loud.

"Harucchi, I like you".

He muttered those words under his breath. So quietly I barely heard among crickets' cries and plants' rustle. Later, he explained, that he had slipped and when I pushed more, he just ignored me. Maybe it meant nothing but he's never really used anyone's first name before.

A moment later he stood up and left. That way he made me feel this frustrating loneliness yet once again because Ryou-chan had been gone long ago so that I could stand on my own. Meanwhile I was still, just like a newborn foal, clumsily stumbling over own feet.

The next time my heart began to beat faster was during our learning. In the room by ourselves, a winter afternoon, the light dimmed, only a lone lamp on a kotatsu table. He sat in front of me and with a gentle movement he brushed away bangs from my face. We were staring into each others' eyes like it was the first time. Deep darkness of his irises was pulling me in slowly but surely, circling with chill as the cold day outside. He leaned against the desk, bent down. A strong hand found mine, held onto it tightly. It was big and rough but at the same time pleasantly warm. A course book fell down on the floor. He was kissing me. Without a ruch, carefully, he was tasting his very first kiss. Then he started to press harder and with more passion, more possessively. I forgot to breath and I don't remember anything else than the heat filling up my body and the firm touch of his lips on top of mine.

We both only got to know the world and together did we uncover the meaning of love. We were young, inexperienced and cautious. We held hands and sat in silence not doing anything all long hours. With the back of his hand he used to touch my cheek, his chin rested on my head. Since that memorable day I heard he had liked me, none of us ever spoke our feelings out loud again. I loved him for being there, although I never knew what he'd been thinking of me nor if he had felt the same way I had.

I remember his hot fingers sliding underneath this flashy yellow shirt for the first time. They were trembling slightly, yet he desperately tried to hide it from me and himself. He didn't ask whether I had wanted this and I did not protest as the silence became our sanctuary. I had exposed in front of him both my body and soul and he accepted them. When the last pieces of clothing had fallen to the floor with a rustle, all I said was:

"I'm too small and too skinny."

He shrugged and stated he'd liked me the way I had been. I also liked how small and fragile I looked compared to him. With undisguised fascination I massaged the strong arms, which turned out to be stiff and well-built, the complete opposite of mines.

Then, he showed me his true self. He was tearing me inside. He could not control himself. It was stuffy and the pain was ripping apart all that was left of my consciousness. Furuya's hips were thrusting deeper into my existence, over and over again with the same bewildering speed. He was gasping for air. In the end, we both achieved compliance when the sheets got stained by tears and the fruit of our pleasure. Almost immediately did he fall asleep, right after the final grunt and still playing with the pink strand of hair.

I came to love him. For no apparent reason. Sometimes you just don't have to question your motives.

Still, not everything turned out to be idyllic and the life, too, put a spoke in our wheel. The last year of high school, came our parting time. He chose baseball over me and I had nothing left. I ended up alone but richer in experience.

There I stood among the crowd looking at the cherry trees. They would soon bloom and when it happens, we would no longer be together. He's chosen a different path. His back seemed so far away as he was leaving without a word. No farewell, no explanation, nothing. In the end, I've never found out what he felt towards me if not indifference. In the depths of my soul I hope we shall meet again.

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><p><strong>It was so hard to get Furuya's character done! I just so don't get him *even though he's my favourite in the series*. The dramas helped me a little *well, he's either thinking about eating, pitching, polar bears or he's simply sleeping* but still... I've never had such troubles writing a fanfiction! I've written two other beginnings before just because I so didn't get his way of thinking! Hope it turned out well ._.<strong>


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